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I am not a drama queen. I say this after having reflected long and intensively on my own psyche. I might be a drama court jester but since there is not even a term for this sort of low-ranked drama queen invented yet, I dare to say that little me generally doesn’t get numbered among the drama royal court at all. I usually master my emotions and I don’t loose control easily. Usually. Well, I’m not going to lie here. As I said, drama court jester. There are moments in which I tend to go out of my depth. I have a feeling it has something to do with a slight dysfunction of my suprarenal gland as the immensely predominance of make-me-whine-oestrogen on crying-is-for-babies-testosterone in my body is out of question in these certain moments. Call it natural for females, but as much as I love to be a woman, I could easily go without turning into a cranky crybaby whenever I get involved with an antagonist playing on the crying-is-for-babies-testosterone-team. In short, Ela turning into a drama court jester is not a daily life, but much more a love matter.

Smile like a baby! (photo: Timo Jarvinen)

The other day then, when my body’s production of oestrogen experienced another boom (due to the lack of sensitivity of some testosterone junkie of course), I decided to misuse one of my crying-is-for-babies-but-my-shoulder-is-always-here-for-you-testosterone-friends to dry my baby tears and get some advice of how to get over premature midlife crises. After having listened to my probably rather incomprehensible whining, this well-appreciated strong shoulder of a friend told me to get over myself and finally learn how to play hot and cold in love matters on a decent but best of all professional level. According to him, playing hot and cold was the warp and the woof when it came down to interpersonal relations between make-me-whine-oestrogen and crying-is-for-babies-testosterone. «You know love is sort of like playing hide-and-seek», he told me, «Not fun to hide when there is no one seeking, and not fun to seek when there is no one hiding. You need to keep the fun in the game by doing the exact opposite of what your counterpart is doing».

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In this very moment, this explanation was just what I needed: The simple thought of it kept me from bursting out crying again and this was obviously all my dear friend (running out of Kleenex at the time) was aiming for. A toast to him! Anyway, not that I wouldn’t appreciate my friends’ advices but thinking of it clear-headed now makes this whole hot and cold deal turn into a senseless leisure activity that in that very moment only had the function of a well-meant verbal tranquillizer. Seriously, how in this world could a man and a woman ever get together if they had to play cold as soon as the other one played hot and vice versa? Or then, how can they know when the time had come to stop the game? Right before they get too bored playing? Just like back in the day when hide-and-seek kept us up until all the possible hiding places were tested out and got too boring?
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Not only that I hoped to gain more from love than boredom, but also that I can’t understand why I should make something rather complicated such as love even more complicated, this whole hot and cold thing is not of my taste. My strong shoulder friend can do it his way, I for me rather abandon myself to my true emotions and cry like a baby now than waking up one day as an iceberg that does no longer feel like metamorphosing into a fireball. No games needed in my love life, and I will proof the world one day that love can make things work like that, too… one day!
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Ela (smiling like a baby now)
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