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I experienced a premiere the other day. It was the first time of my life that I decided to break off the relation to someone completely. I actually never thought much of such unconditional acts. I always hated those typical girlie fights back in high school when best girlfriends wouldn’t talk to each for a defined period of time for some stupid reason like ‘she copied my hairstyle’ or whatever. I thought it was useless and I could never understand how people could draw such lines under relationships that had meant the world to them just before… Not until the other day exactly, when I saw myself forced to make a cut and send the chosen someone packing combined with the urgent request to never return.

Of course it was not just someone… How less of a young woman’s life would my life be if the designated person wouldn’t have been a guy that I had declared as the ‘possible one’ to my girlfriends before? I’m not an expert in such questions but I assume this comes naturally with the whole break-off-touch-deal. You need to care for a person pretty badly to be at the same time bothered badly enough to give marching orders… So without getting into details among the reason of my particular break-off-touch-story, all that needs to be said is that I got let down literally all along the line, and I felt I had no other option than to completely ban this guy from my life.

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Well, easier said than done. First of all, it took me a while to convince myself that this preposterous act had nothing to do with me being preposterous, but much more with this guy being the reason why ‘preposterous’ as a word was actually invented. Once I had myself at this point, the ‘second of all’ began to torture me… Now did you know what a time-consuming and complex undertaking it was to break off contact with someone in time of modern technology? It was not like back in the good old days when our mummies could take their leather-wrapped address books and erase an entry that they once had written with great foresight in pencil and that consisted of a phone number and a mailbox address only. No, what I faced was

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an entry in my cell-phone for his private cell, his business cell, his private landline and his office number

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an entry in my laptop address book for his private e-mail, his business e-mail, his mailbox address and instant messaging contacts

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an enty in my scratch book that compiled again his cell phone number, this time with some sort of heart shape around it (luckily (or pathetically) painted in pencil…)

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and then of course a Facebook friendship I needed to cancel, a Skype contact I had to block, a Twitter feed I no longer wanted to follow and so on and so forth… All in all, it took me approximately half a day to erase any possible traces this guy had left in my life. It was exhausting. And honestly, if I had known before that this was what it takes to ban someone from my life, I would probably have found a way to live with the entry of ‘Mister Preposterous’ in all my face- and address books…

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However, once the mission was accomplished, it felt amazingly relieving to no longer see this unholy name in all my possible contact archives. As pathetic it might be breaking off a relation seems like the best choice every once in a while. And in order to keep myself this option open in a less stressful way in the future, the next guy I possibly have a crush on can have my landline and my mailbox address. And if he wants to get in touch with me, he can send me postcards. Basta. I want the good old days back… Now.

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Ela (call it nostalgia…)

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